By D. Byram
This story is called,
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego Get Arrested …
but Nebuchadnezzar gets BURNED!
Before I start, let me just say that any city named Babylon is bound to be number ten on the top ten most touristy places to visit in central-wherever we are. Anyways, the King of Babylon, this dude named Nebuchadnezzar, was very full of himself. I guess he wanted everyone to know that because one day he decided to make a huge statue of himself in the town square, right in front of the Starbucks. The point of the statue was to make everyone kneel down and worship it when the marching band played. And if you didn’t, well, how to put this delicately? You get tossed into a roaring fire.
This is the part where Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego come in. Let’s call them Shad, M-Shaq, and Abednego for short. They were three young, strong guys who had been taken to Babylon as prisoners, but when they got there, they impressed Nebuchadnezzar, that is, King Neb, and ended up with office jobs in the palace.
So that’s where they were when the music played, and King Neb ordered everyone to kneel down or else they would be thrown into a roaring furnace.
But Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not kneel down.
So King Neb ordered them to his throne room for a little chat.
The transcript went something like this:
King Neb: What part of “bow down when the music plays” don’t you understand?
Guys: The “bow down” part.
Shad: We don’t bow down to other gods. Just a policy.
Abednego: Are you sure you didn’t mean get down to the music? Because that makes more sense to me.
King Neb: That’s absolutely not what I meant. Did you not like the music I chose? Nice beat, easy to bow to?
M-shaq: Honestly, I thought the trigon was overpowering the lyre.
King Neb: Hmm. Interesting. So you’re still saying you did not bow down?
King Neb: Well, then, how do you feel about being thrown into a fire?
Guys: Um, we have mixed feelings.
King Neb: Let me introduce you to John King or JK, your personal escort to the flames. Of course, since I’ve commanded the fire to be seven times hotter than usual, he will probably die before you get there.
JK: Wha …?
King Neb: Have a nice trip.
As JK took Shad, M-shaq and Abednego to the furnace, JK indeed died before they got there, due to the seven-times-hotter fire. These three guys, bound by ropes, fell into the fire. As all the townspeople gathered around, King Neb saw that there were four people in the Fire, and the last one was an Angel of God. He saw all four of them, walking around in the fire, completely unharmed! The King ordered them out of the fire. The ropes had burned off of them, but the flames never touched them. The most bizarre thing is that they didn’t even smell like smoke! The King realized that there was a greater God than him. So because Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego believed in God and not the king, they made it through the fire. That’s the end.